So last post I mentioned that I was leaving the interwebz - and all reading (save for street signs and food labels, of course) for a week because of a book called Artist's Way. It instructed me to drop reading for a short time to, essentially, turn off outside noise in order to hear my own creative kid voice inside. Because who's creative spirit isn't a kid?
Anyway, it was a good experience - uncomfortable, sometimes, because reading is my escape, and without it I had to face life constantly. As a result, it was very revealing - I learned things about myself and I was able to better pinpoint those problems and obstructions hanging around my reality. And yes, my creative kid voice was more clear, though it was subtle.
One thing I consistently thought about last week is the scale and intensity of distractions. Sometimes I don't even know how we do it, how we manage to stay in touch with ourselves (and nature!) in this crazy world. Cell phones, computers, television, radio, billboards, newspapers, advertisements, etc. - most of it is noise, a white static that floats around our heads like a digital cloud.
And we talk without depth, without ourselves. And we work without joy, without ourselves. And even our play, our vacations, and our gatherings with friends are often forced or recommended, what we should do, what we should talk about, and not what our hearts are really wanting. Take away the noise, and all of a sudden you can hear that little voice - "but I think golf is boring," or "I really can't stand Mary, all she does is complain", or "all I want to do is paint".
It's hard to listen to your heart, because it forces you to change, or at least confront the possibility of change. If you admit to being terribly unhappy in your job, then sooner or later you're going to have to quit and find something better. You could lie to yourself, convince yourself all the reasons you should stay, but deep down, the seed of dissatisfaction has already been planted and it will only grow. You can only pretend the sprout isn't a giant beanstalk for so long until life is gonna force you to look at it. It'll say, "C'mon, there's a giant beanstalk right here, right in front of your face!" And then even if you don't listen, you'll walk into it.
On the flip side, I love my computer and I love reading blogs - especially food blogs! It was with great joy that I returned to my very, very full Google Reader feed to read what everyone's been up to. Good blogs aside, though, I've definitely learned a lesson about eliminating distractions as best as I can. I'm the kind of person who reads while I eat, and all week, I ate breakfast on my deck in the warm summer sun, with nothing but myself and my oatmeal. I noticed the food, the textures and smells, instead of just eating on autopilot. It was calming, relaxing, and imbued me with feelings of gratitude. Those moments are so few and far in-between that they're well-worth savoring.
Now for something very different - a music video about Portland that definitely speaks to my heart, and is friggin' hilarious. This makes me even more excited for Vida Vegan Con this month!
See you tomorrow with some food! :)